Latest - Page 2 of 3439 - The Onion

Address: [go: up one dir, main page]

Include Form Remove Scripts Accept Cookies Show Images Show Referer Rotate13 Base64 Strip Meta Strip Title Session Cookies

Skip to content

The Onion newspaper

Become a Member. Get the Paper.

Tuesday, August 4, 2026

81°

Smoggy with a soupcon of ragweed

America’s Finest News Source

News
Local
Politics
Entertainment
Sports
Opinion
The Onion Store

News
Local
Politics
Entertainment
Sports
The Onion Store

Tuesday, August 4, 2026

81°

Smoggy with a soupcon of ragweed

Become A Member

The Latest
News
Local
Politics
Entertainment
Sports
Opinion
Video
Search
Horoscopes
About Us
The Onion Store
- Instagram
- Twitter
- Facebook
- YouTube
- TikTok
- Bluesky
- Tumblr

Instagram
Facebook
YouTube
TikTok
Bluesky
Tumblr

The Latest

Entertainment
Chicagoans Over 25 Urged To Shelter In Place Until Lollapalooza Over
Entertainment
Jared Leto Denies Sexual Assault Allegations Will Affect Career
Politics
Iran War Enters 6th Justification
American Voices
Red Cross Warns Blood Supply Alarmingly Low
The American Red Cross warned that a critical shortage of blood could prevent those needing life-saving transfusions from getting them, urging donations from everyone eligible…
Entertainment
Report: Artists Not Boycotting Grammys Down To Meghan Trainor, Susan Boyle, Sugar Ray
SANTA MONICA, CA—Stating that they were looking forward to another spectacular and soul-stirring awards ceremony in February, the Recording Academy confirmed Friday that the list…
Baseball, Sports
Rockies Fan Opens Private Tab To Check Score

Like A Vitamin You Ingest With Your Eyes. Get The Onion Newsletter.

"*" indicates required fields

Facebook

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Subscribe For All the Latest Headlines*

*

By subscribing to our newsletter you have read, understood and agree to the terms of our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use

Δ

Entertainment
What To Know About ‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’
Spider-Man: Brand New Day opens in theaters this weekend. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the new film. Q: What’s the premise?…
Baseball, Sports
Baseball Hall Of Fame Displays Fossilized Skeleton Of Stan Musial
Entertainment
Translator Of Original ‘Minions’ Epic Poem Slams ‘Sexless, Bloodless’ Film Adaptation
PHILADELPHIA—In a 4,500-word essay published in Harper’s Magazine, Emily Wilson, known for her popular translation of the Minions epic poem, blasted the latest film Thursday…
Politics
Congress Interrogates Fauci Over Origins Of Pie Brought To Cookout
WASHINGTON—Accusing the physician of not being straight with the American people, an often hostile Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee this week interrogated Anthony Fauci over the origins…
Entertainment
Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise Face Off Alone On ‘Celebrity Family Feud’
News
Elon Musk: ‘Revenge Porn Is A Human Right’

1 2 3 4 … 3,439

1 2 … 3,439

Advertising

American Voices

American Voices
U.S. Bans Foreign-Made Humanoid Robots
American Voices
Schools Deploy Pepper Spray Drones To Combat Shootings
American Voices
Red Cross Warns Blood Supply Alarmingly Low

Cartoons

Grave Concerns
Who’s Bad?
All Things Musk Pass
Thou Shalt Not Kilt
Rigged Erection

Join The Millions Of Others Who Entered In Their Credit Card Number.

Become An Onion Member Today

Advertising

Advertising

In Other News

Local
‘Oh Fuck,’ Announces Belching, Groaning Bus Passenger Directly Behind Woman
Local
Small Town’s Make-Out Point Purchased By Multinational Make-Out Conglomerate
Baseball, Sports
Baseball Hall Of Fame Displays Fossilized Skeleton Of Stan Musial
Local
Object Permanence Kicks In Just In Time For Dad To Leave

Your Horoscope — Today’s Birthday

Leo

(July 23 to August 22):

Everyone likes attention, but it’s unlikely your nephew chose to have an asthma attack during your wedding ceremony.

Read Your Horoscope

Subscribe for all the latest Headlines

"*" indicates required fields

Get All The Latest Headlines By Email, Once A Day*

*

By subscribing to our newsletter you have read, understood and agree to the terms of our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use

Δ

Sections

The Latest
News
Local
Politics
Entertainment
Sports
Opinion
Video

Explore

Search
About Us
Become a Member
The Onion Store
Front Page Archive
Jobs

© 2026

The Onion

Print Membership Terms

Instagram
Facebook
YouTube
TikTok
Bluesky
Tumblr