Beata Czajkowska reacted on this
Today marks 8 years since my 14-year-old son, Valdemar, passed away in an accident.
Time doesn’t heal everything, but it teaches us how to live with the unimaginable. Since that day, I have reflected deeply on life and how we navigate it when the ground beneath us shatters.
Over time, I’ve come to view life as a large swimming pool divided into lanes. Some lanes are turquoise, crystal clear, and completely calm. Others are dark, menacing, and turbulent. The more experiences, hardships, and milestones we carry through life, the more lanes we get and the larger our pool becomes.
Every single morning, we face the exact same choice: Where do we dive in? In my case, 99% of the time, I choose the bright, clear, turquoise lanes. I laugh, love and lead there. But this does not mean the dark lanes have vanished. My large pool spans the entire spectrum from the brightest blue to the deepest black.
Even though I dive into the turquoise water, I still allow myself to divert from there. I can swim over to Valdemar’s lane for a moment. I visit the grief, the powerlessness of him only getting 14 years, and I feel the profound, unchanging ache of missing him. But I never stay there.
In the 8 years that have passed, I have discovered the fierce strength that lies in that daily choice. The choice to live my life in the turquoise lanes, while still embracing my entire swimming pool.
What can we carry from this perspective into our professional careers and leadership?
🌿Leadership requires room for the whole person: As colleagues and leaders, we must recognize that everyone carries their "swimmingpool" of life experiences. True professionalism isn't about leaving your personal life at the door; it’s about having the emotional intelligence to understand that we all contain both bright and dark lanes.
🌿Resilience is an active, daily choice: We can rarely control the external crises that impact our projects, companies, or personal lives. However, we always retain ownership over our reaction. Mentally choosing where to direct our focus is what allows us to sustain momentum, vision, and drive.
🌿Vulnerability builds psychological safety: When we dare to show up with our whole story, including the challenging lanes, we foster a culture built on deep trust. It is within these authentic connections that the strongest, most collaborative teams are forged.
The 8th of September is the one of very few days where I jump in in the darkest lane 💔 See you all in the bright, turquoise one tomorrow, and remember that also you can choose your lane everyday ❤️🩹❤️V