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My name is Erica and I'm in my 30s.

Brain-fogged.

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Since I turned 35, I noticed perimenopause symptoms slowly creeping up onto my aging, decrepit body.

One symptom that truly gave me pause was the brain fog. Days felt my head was always full of cotton. I always caught myself fixing typos in my work conversations. It felt like my hands were not working well with my brain.

People on the internet recommended I take creatine. The fog lifted. I felt like my brain worked properly again.

A couple of years ago when Chat GPT was starting to take over at work, sure, I tried using it too. Could it write me captions? Could it write some blog posts on things I barely knew about? Sure.

But everything it spat out felt like it was made by a brain addled with fog. It always said the same thing over and over, hallucinated data, and just corrected itself just to keep you talking to it. But it will still make the same mistakes the next time. I ended up doing the same work I would’ve had done if I just researched and fact-checked on my own from the start.

What my actual, physical brain fog made me realize was I actually didn’t like not feeling my brain work. It scared me. I didn’t want to offload any of my thinking to “AI” anymore.

I doubled up on my reading. Took on more hobbies that required my hands and my imagination. My brain was the one thing I could always count on growing up, I sure as hell would not want to have it fail on me now.

Picked up oil pastels.

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Having adult money, my 30s is just spent rediscovering hobbies I enjoyed when I was a kid and somehow stopped doing when life got in the way. I picked up reading again, relearned how to crochet, used my camera again, and now I've been drawing with oil pastels.

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Resisting buying a new camera.

I've recently been aggressively targeted by compact camera ads and in turn have been looking into getting a Ricoh GRIIIx. But that is an expensive camera, and I am a complete hobbyist just taking photos of my cats and the surroundings while I go on walks.

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A rainy sunrise.

There’s a tradition in Japan to view the first sunrise of the year. Now tell me why on the first year we decide to partake, the weather did not cooperate. 

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Let’s try again next year. 

One's Company by Ashley Hutson

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Therapy would have done wonders for her.

But that't not the point. The point is what a severely traumatized person with no strong support system will do the most insane thing when given a lot—A LOT—of money. Not gonna lie, I would do the same, probably. Who needs healing when I can escape into a TV show.

Oatmeal Banana Bread

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I’ve been making multiple variations of banana bread for a few months now, trying to find the perfect balance of tasty, moist, and not too sweet with just enough calories to tide my husband over lunch (in addition to a serving of yogurt with granola). 

And if I could sneak in some additional fiber in there, too, it would be great. I think I found the perfect recipe earlier today. 

Based on this Oatmeal Banana Bread recipe from mybakingaddiction.com

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She and Her Cat by Makoto Shinkai and Naruki Nagakawa

She and Her Cat by Makoto Shinkai and Naruki Nagakawa
She and Her Cat by Makoto Shinkai and Naruki Nagakawa


This was a silly little book, and (I think) the perfect follow-up after reading No Longer Human. The cats in this book can be a little goofy (one cat thinks his owner is his girlfriend) but it's a feel-good book, and I might have cried a little bit.

But, overall, all I could think about was, these people should really just keep their cats inside.

No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai

No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai
No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai


I think I first heard this book from a Youtuber reviewing Junji Ito's works. 

I can't relate fully to Yozo's complete alienation from society, but the book is haunting. His trauma and unchecked mental health issues, especially at the time the book is set in, makes you feel for him but he still lived a pretty shitty life with the choices he makes.

Would he have had a different life if he had a better support system? Would he have accepted it?