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It was the first time that ASRUN had performed for such a large audience in such a large venue. It had been breathtaking and thrilling, but also exhausting. Dancing vigorously, they had tried to make sure everyone saw. Singing loudly, they had tried to make sure everyone heard. They had been bathed in the cheers and lights of the thousands of fans there.
Even for Mai, the live had been overwhelming. She rolled her neck while gripping her shoulder. Her limbs and throat ached. It’d been worth it, but it’d been rough on her small body. She lifted up her chin.
“Hey, Haruka-chan, after this, wanna go to—”
Mai stopped halfway through her call, realizing that Haruka was nowhere to be found. Her hand slipped off her shoulder as she turned her head left and right in search, dumbfounded. All she saw were her other group mates, who gave her a few confused glances.
“Haruka went to the bathroom,” one of them said.
“Although, she’s been gone for a while,” another one pointed out, putting a finger to her chin.
“…I’ll go check on her, then,” Mai mumbled. She turned around and quickly stepped out of the changing room, leaving her group mates shrugging.
With long strides, Mai hurriedly made her way to the bathroom. She furrowed her brows. There was a prickly feeling spreading throughout her chest. She couldn’t help but feel as though something was wrong. When she got to the bathroom, she almost tore open the door.
“Haruka-chan?” she called in a gentle voice. She scanned the room. Haruka was nowhere to be found.
“Hic… Sniff…”
Wait a second. Yes, Haruka was there. She was hunched on the floor behind the trash can, hugging her knees tightly to her chest.
“Haruka-chan!! Are you okay?!” Mai shouted frantically, running over to her. She crashed onto her knees in front of Haruka, who was rocking side to side. Mai quickly took Haruka’s hands into her own.
“Please don’t!” Haruka yelped monotonously as she roughly pulled away from Mai’s hands. Mai scoffed and leaned back, her heart squeezing in her chest. There was hurt in her eyes, for she had been rejected by her love in such a stunning way. But as she watched Haruka sob and tremble, she realized there were more important things than that.
So, Mai wiggled her way behind Haruka and suddenly grabbed her tightly in her arms.
This time, Haruka didn’t reject the touch. She kept sniffling but, as Mai squeezed harder and harder, she began trembling less. Haruka’s cries died down and, after a few minutes, she was calm again.
“Thank you…” she sniffled, wiping her eyes. Mai shifted her head around so that she could gently kiss Haruka’s cheek.
“Are you feeling better now?” Mai asked in a whisper. Haruka nodded weakly.
“…A little,” she rasped. Mai slacked her grip, then pulled away from Haruka. Now face to face, she asked,
“What happened?”
Mai’s curious eyes bore into Haruka’s watery ones.
“…The live was a little too loud, even with our earbuds. And the penlights… They were beautiful, but a little too bright. So, by the time we got to the changing room… and everyone was talking over each other… I just couldn’t take it anymore,” Haruka explained with a sigh. She put a hand over her face and dug her fingertips into her skin, seemingly embarrassed by her behavior. Mai frowned. She didn’t like seeing her girlfriend ashamed of who she was.
“I’m sorry. It was pretty overwhelming. I felt it, too,” Mai reassured her. Slowly, Haruka pulled down her hand and showed her face. She was pouting and there were still tears welling up in her eyes, but she looked less out of it now. Mai smiled at her bittersweetly.
“Hey, is there any other way I can make it better?” she asked.
“…My tie is a little too tight, too,” Haruka whined, “but my hands are too shaky to undo it right now. Could you get it for me?” Mai gave her a small nod and brought her hands up to her tie. She pinched the knot and then reached behind to grab the tail. Gently, she pulled the tie loose and let it slip off Haruka’s collar. She then put it into her skirt pocket.
“Hah… That’s better,” Haruka breathed out in relief. “Thank you, Mai.” She fell forward, resting her head on Mai’s shoulder and pulling her into another hug. Looking downward, Mai blushed. She rested a hand atop Haruka’s head, then stroked her hair.
“There, there,” Mai whispered. Were the circumstances not dire, she would’ve been embarrassed. Her only concern now, though, was comforting her girlfriend.
As Haruka sniffled into the crook of her neck, Mai thought about that. Just a moment ago, Haruka had been singing up on stage as the nation’s idol. There was a time where Mai had been but an audience member, only admiring that version of Haruka. Now she was here, in the bathroom, being held by the real Haruka for dear life.
Haruka’s fingers dug into her back. Mai could feel her desperation through her touch. It was nice to be needed by someone she’d loved for such a long time. It was then that she realized something.
Even idols cried. It was the job of idols, however, to bring smiles to faces.
Mai pulled away again, but only slightly. She craned her neck and gently pressed her lips onto Haruka’s cheek, kissing away her tears. She repeated that motion, pecking each droplet that fell.
“Hehe… Heh… Mai, that tickles!” Haruka giggled, gently pushing Mai away from her face. Her tears were no longer flowing, only drying up under the cool air of the bathroom vent fan.
“Yay, you’re smiling again!” Mai cheered. Haruka pressed her hands over her ears, letting Mai know that she had been a little too loud. Mai’s eyes widened, and then she let out a guilty hum.
“Sorry, why don’t we get out of here? There are probably better places to calm down than here, right?” she suggested, quieter this time. She stood up and reached out her hand. Haruka nodded.
“…The vent fan is a little too loud. And it smells kind of bad in here,” she grumbled before taking Mai’s hand. She let herself be pulled up and then Mai led her out of the bathroom.
“Oh!! There you are, Haruka!!” one of their group mates exclaimed from down the hall. Haruka flinched and squeezed Mai’s hand. Mai quickly made a shushing gesture toward their group mate with her free hand, then sped down the hall.
“Thanks,” Haruka sighed. Her voice was small and soft. Without turning around, Mai replied,
“Let’s see if we can find a quiet stairwell, okay?”
She smiled. If that was what Haruka needed, Mai would do anything to give that to her. With that, the two girls ran through the stadium as if they were the only two people in the world.