'Boys feel they can't talk - a mentor helped me'

A teenager has said a mentoring organisation highlighted by Sir Gareth Southgate has helped him "become a better person".

Frankie, 15, from Hertfordshire, said he found it hard to talk after the death of his grandfather.

He received support from Dan Gaze Support Services and this summer helped out at free football sessions for other young people.

Gaze said he wanted "to help support young boys and young girls to do well".

"Where it started to go a bit downhill for me was when my grandad died," Frankie said.

"That really took an impact on how I looked at life… it was [like] boys couldn't really speak out about how they were feeling.

"Because if they talk out about it, it was a bit of a 'girly thing' to do, as they say.

"Whereas if a girl talks about it, it's normal. It should work both ways."

Former teenage offender Gaze set up a support service six years ago to provide the "real" mentorship he felt was missing in traditional education.

It featured in the BBC documentary Changing The Game For Young Men earlier this year, where the former England football manager met more than 300 young people.

Gaze said he had a difficult upbringing, and "was expelled from junior school, expelled from secondary school".

"I grew up with no father, and ended up going to prison when I was 18."

Once he was out of prison, he wanted to change other young lives and worked as a volunteer and teacher before starting his own business.

He met Frankie at a school where he was providing support sessions, and offered him support.

"I didn't know who to talk to, so it came out in behaviour and I always say behaviour is a form of communication," Gaze said.

"Frankie comes from a supportive family, but things happen and influences take over."

Frankie said: "He [Gaze] told me I reminded him of himself when he was younger.

"I did some silly stuff I knew I shouldn't be doing and Dan saw that in me and put the idea in my head that I could be doing better for myself."

Frankie had always been passionate about sport. "I was gonna quit football, because I wanted to be out with my mates... Dan told me it'll help take my mind off things."

As well as working with schools, the organisation put together a programme of free football sessions over the summer holidays in Shefford, Bedfordshire, supported by the town council.

More than 100 young people attended.

"It's about building relationships with young people, and football's the carrot," said Gaze.

All boys are encouraged to express emotions.

"We don't want our boys turning into the young men that we're seeing online at the moment, because that's not correct. We want our boys to have a nurturing side," he said.

"Some boys say to me they haven't cried in three years, but I tell them I cry and I'm 43. It's not weak to cry."

Frankie praised Gaze and his organisation.

"He's helped me become a better person, rather than going down bad paths. I had a really good teacher at school and I had Dan... I had male influences that I could talk to," he said.

"I'm so grateful for that, because I wouldn't be here like this today if it wasn't for his influence on me."

He wants to encourage other teenagers to speak out about their feelings.

"Talk to someone. I'm lucky 'cause my friends and family have all helped me in different ways... about life or what you're thinking in your head," he said.

"Boys do struggle too... that's the whole reason Gareth Southgate did that documentary."

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